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But, I Feel Afraid...

But, I Feel Afraid...

August 16, 2018

Do you ever feel like you are drowning in fear or anxiety? Finding yourself coming up with the “What if” scenarios in your head? Analyzing outcomes, worrying about the future, and trying to control everything?

I am about to get real with you. Pulling back the curtains isn’t easy for me to do, but I want to share what I have been going through lately.  

We all go through these seasons. Seasons where our fear is greater than our faith. Where anxiety knocks and we answer. Where the weight of the world feels as if it’s crashing down on us. Where we feel we are standing in the middle of the sea crying out to God for Him to show us what to do and where to go, only to feel the waves crashing into us.

The past few weeks have challenged me in many ways. I have experienced all of the above and then some. I heard in a church service recently, you’re either going into a storm, in a storm, or coming out of a storm.

There is so much uncertainty in my life right now. The fears come knocking in. From the ministry, to entering into a new season of our first child being born in September. I have never felt so unequipped in my whole life. The fear of the labor process and the season of a newborn terrifies me at times. Fear grabs me and suffocates me.  

But, through it all, I have continued to go to the One who created me and knows me better than I know myself.  It’s not always easy to find the time or to tell our feelings to take a back seat. But, our feelings are not meant to lead our lives, they are meant to reveal the state of our heart. The only one meant to lead us and change us is The Creator Himself, Jesus. The King of kings. The Good Shepherd. The Lord of lords. I just need to listen to His voice above all the screams and worries in this world. So that is what I did (but believe me, I don’t always run to Him right away like I know I should).

After I finished my morning devotional and prayer this morning, I found myself needing to rest in God’s Truths - to hear what He has to say about worry and fear. He spoke to me through His Word in many areas regarding worry and anxiety, and to pray instead of worrying about everything.  

I then went to go workout and eagerly hit the “Worship” playlist. I turned the volume to full blast. As the words entered my ears, I sang out to God (more like high pitched screams as I cried simultaneously; pretty sure the whole neighborhood could hear).  

Sometimes, we don’t have the all encompassing words to express to God what we are going through. That is why I love music and the power of the Holy Spirit, that helps us speak to God in a raw and vulnerable way. With our whole hearts. Even the messy, broken parts.

The song, Who you say I am by Hillsong, came on. I sang these words:

“Who am I that the highest King would welcome me? I was lost, but He brought me in. Oh, His love for me. Oh, His love for me. Who the Son sets free. Oh is free indeed. I’m a child of God, Yes I am.”

Wow! What amazing truths. As I sang out these words I began to rest in the fact that I am a child of God and He loves me more than I will ever fully understand. The words crashed into me with a new, bright light. I slowly felt the fears melt away and His love gave me a peace and a fullness I can’t express in words.

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.” (Ephesians 3:18-19)

Jesus’ perfect love casts out fear. When we rest in His love for us, the fears melt away. We must declare: We are chosen, not forsaken, We are who He says we are. He is for us, not against us. We are children of God. Made in His image for His purposes that He set long before we were born. He loves us more than we will ever fully understand.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” (1 John 4:18)

When we experience God’s perfect love for us, we are set free. There is no fear in Jesus and His spirit. When we bring our whole heart to Him, He will give us all we need. After all, He gave us His whole heart and died for us. He was mocked, ridiculed, and beaten so we could be made whole. Wow, what love. Thank you Jesus.

He has a future and a plan for every person. He knows all things. He can be trusted to give us far more than we may ever ask or imagine. He is a good, good Father.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)


The other two songs I listened to were: Tremble by Mosaic MSC and Whole Heart by Passion. Please give both of these songs a listen and let the truth of how much God loves you and His power, speak to you. I pray that God will speak to you in the midst of any fears you may have.

Lastly, we know who we are, because of who He is. The two areas that Satan attacks is our identity in Christ and Christ’s identity. To combat this, focus on who Jesus is and what He did for us. Step out even if you still feel afraid. Focus on who you are in Him. Get to know Him by spending time in His Word and in prayer - you will start to recognize His voice, like sheep know the Shepherd's voice. Memorize scripture and speak it over your life. Live a life that honors Him and follow His Word above all other things in this world. Ask for His help and surrender to His plans for your life. There is so much freedom in His truth and surrendering to His will. It’s not easy, but it’s so much better than our plans.  

Repeat these truths with me (as I need to cling to them desperately myself): I am free. I am a child of God. I am loved. He will never love me more than He did when He first created me. I have already won. I am victorious. I am a child of the Great I AM, the light of the World. I am chosen. God has a purpose and plan for me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Love to you, my friend.  Let His truth about who He is and Who you are In Him, pour into you today and break any chains holding you captive. Who the Son sets free, is free indeed.  

“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)

Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.” (John 8:34-37)

His love does not come with conditions. Say it with me: I know who I am because of who Jesus is. The Son has set me free. I am free indeed. I am a child of God. Yes, I am.

Praise be to Jesus!

In Christ,

Jess

BOLD Prayer for Today

Paul’s Prayer for Spiritual Growth: from Ephesians 3:14-21:
“When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.  Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.”



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